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Post by Ienzo Belmont on May 3, 2015 19:16:32 GMT -5
Info will be done soon you just have to wait.
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Post by Rylux on May 4, 2015 18:11:01 GMT -5
Alright let’s just jump into this~
Firstly please follow the proper format which includes the coding
Second the top section should be filled with the correct information
Name: As great of a name as it is Ienzo is not a real name. For him to have it he must have officially changed it upon entering Shibusen
Appearance: This needs to be at least 200 words to fit the length requirement
Gold eyes is fine, with tints of red is not. They should be one solid color
Having pointed teeth is fine but it has no connection to eating human souls so that must be removed.
The claws are simply a no, not a thing that could happen.
Fighting Style: “Ienzo fights using his monster shadow that always follows him” Yeah that’s not going to happen. It has no place in this universe let alone for a death scythe. Even removing the shadow sections this needs to be described in more detail.
Personality: This should be at least 300 words in length.
Turning people into weapons is incredibly taboo. The method is already known and incredibly forbidden so him studying that would end his being a teacher.
For him to be able to study soul wavelengths he would need some very special ability that he lacks.
Abilities: Shadow servant is a no. Enhanced intelligence and senses would require a reason, and absolutely not for a half kishin form.
If he was forced human souls he would have become a kishin egg and been killed, that’s it. On the extremely low chance he was rescued his soul would have been cleansed and there would be no remnants of the corruption.
Resonance: He needs a partner in order to resonate by the very nature of the technique.
Strengths/weaknesses: Heightened senses needs a reason/ Your last two weaknesses do not count.
Subject: There is already a resonance teacher
History: Ok. First of all this is extremely cliché and vague. Second it is almost the exact plan done by Medusa. You also said he was rescued by students earlier, not that he broke out on his own. If he wandered to Death City like that he would be killed on site, no exceptions.
How did his meister manage to kill a witch that they together were having trouble with? A soul would not crystalize like that. Him stopping aging would also not happen.
Extra Notes: Yeah no. This is soul eater not kingdom hearts, that won’t be working. And the dark resonance won’t work at all.
Extra: Please look this over and check the grammar and spelling
-Your account name should be the same as the character.
-Please read the character rules, you are missing something
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Overall I suggest scrapping this character and making a new one. First characters should be students as that offers the most opportunities to post, which feeds into making new characters. If you need help please message me. Making a student also means you can get more involved in the site and get a feel for things, then you can always revamp and make this teacher later on.
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